You are currently browsing the monthly archive for April, 2007.
found this song on my home’s computer. tu ran lei le by JJ..
Somehow it sums up my feelings now anyway.. Jaded.. Never knew that I would every be feeling this way. When we were young, everyone of us is filled with dreams, righteousness, a self painted place where the world is suppose to be like.
Filled with princesses, elfs, faires, princes, hardworking farmers, nice little fishes and animals in rivers, majestic waterfalls etc. When you look closely they might be even fairy dust all around these people.
As the time goes on, you notice the blackness, the grey areas where the real world actually have, the evil bitches, witches, etc. the horrors of what might happen to you, with what evil fishes who eats people, menacing waters, earthquakes etc. You slowly add this onto ur beautiful fairytale land…
And all of a sudden when u look back on the picture u have on hand and realise that it is really murky. Watch this show Chinese Paladin… the lead “ling-er” is suppose to think of happy things so as to make things grow and give life. However it is as if she is just burdened by this horrible truths of the world.
Do each of us do that to ourselves? Where is the childish dream of thinking that you can be what you want to be? It is replace by cynism, and people just very much think and dwell on all the bad things that can happen. And look upon people who dream like they are a alien or something…
Angsty angsty.. rArrz.
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Sa-a-a-d movies always make me cry
He said he had to work so I went to the show alone
They turned down the lights and turned the projector on
And just as the news of the world started to begin
I saw my darlin’ and my best friend walk in
Though I was sittin’ there they didn’t see
And so they sat right down in front of me
When he kissed her lips I almost died
And in the middle of the color cartoon I started to cry.
Oh-oh-oh sa-a-a-d movies always make me cry
Oh-oh-oh sa-a-a-d movies always make me cry
And so I got up and slowly walked on home
And mama saw the tears and said “what’s wrong?”
And so to keep from telling her a lie
I just said “sa-a-a-d movies make me cry”
Oh-oh-oh sa-a-a-d movies always make me cry
Oh-oh-oh sa-a-a-d movies always make me cry
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Sa-a-a-d movies make me cry-y-y
Sobs.. heard this song, when I was in the British Council I think. Love it to pieces.. the wailing and all. Wonder why do all the music of that time sounds of happy and yet have such sad lyrics..
Took some test again. About what my subconscious is harping on..
Think it is pretty true…
This is the area most related to your general hopes and aspirations about life. Your continued self-improvement in relationships, career, finances, and health, as well as your ability to identify and realize your life purpose, are all connected to your personal growth. Perhaps your conscious mind is aware that something is troubling you with regard to it or maybe you just have a vague sense that things don’t feel quite right.
However tuned in you are to your feelings about your personal growth, you most likely have deeper issues that affect how you are subconsciously viewing your circumstances. Some issues are isolated to one realm of life, but generally an issue affects several areas at once, and to varying degrees.
Your subconscious mind could be preoccupied with your personal growth because of a wide variety of issues you aren’t aware of. The following are some pretty common ones that people have around their personal growth. Do any resonate with you?
- Worrying that you aren’t doing a good enough job in the area of self-improvement. You may not have experienced any significant changes in a while, even though you might be trying.
- Worrying that you’re not doing your best. You might feel like life is stagnant or there are specific goals and dreams that you know you aren’t making any progress in.
- Worrying that you’ll be betrayed. You might feel like you’ve undermined your chances for a better future through past actions or decisions, leaving you feeling like you’ve already betrayed yourself or your dreams.
- Worrying that you’ll be rejected. Striving for what you really want is scary because not everyone will be helpful or supportive along the way. Fear of rejection can make you overly self-protective, which, unchecked, can make it difficult to give yourself space and permission to grow.
- Wishing you didn’t make things so complicated. You might feel like your life is overly structured, and subconsciously you may wish you could try new things and be more flexible and creative.
Did any of the issues you just read sound familiar? Once you recognize your subconscious concerns, you’ll most likely be better able to find resolution. Follow the steps below and get in touch!
1. Begin writing a list of issues you think might be affecting you in the area of your life that is experiencing some trouble.
2. Consider your scores on the core issues discussed in the “Issues impacting your subconscious” section. Did you score high on any that are affecting the challenging area of your life?
3. Choose one issue to focus on.
4. Bring the issue into your conscious mind in a variety of ways. Leave a note on your bathroom mirror to remind yourself; meditate on where the issue came from and how it impacts your life; talk about it with a friend or partner.
5. In a month or two, ask yourself how/if this issue is still impacting your life in that one area, and then consider whether it’s been resolved in all areas of your life. If it still seems like the issue is affecting your well-being, you may want to enlist the help of a therapist. Once everything has shifted for the better, you may want to use the same techniques on other issues.
Maybe this is what that is keeping me away from persuing events? Scared that I can’t be as good as I think or people think I am. Even teaching… Having doubts too. Wonder how do people have the confidence to just go ahead with things. Or is it just that I don’t know what I want? I do know what i want. I want to go to europe… but i don’ think reality allows me to pursue spending two years there. To just experience and live life on my own.
One can say so much. But there are certainly other things to think of. Sick of trying to prove myself. To who? To myself probably, but I am not even doing my best in NTU. bull~
In the mood for oldies now.. haha~ shall try to hit the books. cheers!
What Hurts the Most – Rascal Flatts
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do
It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do
A friend of mine introduced me to this song. Bittersweet is what I will call it I guess. The song somehow sums it nicely. Its not seeing what you care for the most when it is in front of you, only to realise that you care for it/him/her when u lose it/him/her. Its the soundtrack of this new series, House. Love the lyrics…
Regrets… Think the way to live life is to make sure that you don’t have regrets in life. Rather than to waste time thinking of what might have been. To follow through with your decisions.
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Took this test from tickle.com. I do wonder if it is meant as a joke.. haha.. just went for a NIE interview recently…
At your core, you’re meant to be a Teacher. You are 79% in line with the Teacher role. This indicates that you are unusually adept at assessing and maximizing the talent of those around you. As a natural leader who inspires others, people are constantly encouraged by being near you, and your enthusiasm is contagious. With your supportive nature, you typically motivate people to meet their goals and believe anything is possible. Be aware, however, of the possible tendency to be unrealistic or overly idealistic, as it can devalue the great aspects of your life in the here-and-now.
As a teacher, you are in good company with Abraham Lincoln, Gene Hackman, and Margaret Mead. Just as their destinies have a deep effect on their life paths, your destiny as a Teacher undoubtedly has a profound impact on every aspect of yours.
Professional Life
In your professional life, you probably have a natural tendency toward leadership roles. Your charisma and interpersonal skills make you a very able businessperson. People are drawn to you because you are outgoing and have an easy way of mentoring. You would probably make a very successful entrepreneur due to your belief in your dreams and your ability to see the big picture. You are able to pass along information and enthusiasm to others and often bring out the best efforts of co-workers.
Personal Life
In your personal life, you are a caring and loyal person who values cooperation. You tend to seek harmonious relationships and your empathy for others is exceptional. Your generous and giving nature creates strong connections, as you are willing to give your time and energy to make sure your loved ones are happy. When it comes to your partner, be aware that your idealism may create conflict. With children, you would tend to be a very affectionate and loving parent, most likely encouraging and nurturing, rather than heavy-handed.
A Day in the Life of a Teacher
Being a Teacher will manifest itself in the many ways you view life and make decisions. For example, let’s take a look at Peter who is also a Teacher. He recently went camping with a group of friends. As the group arrived at the trailhead and began to unload the gear, Peter was already exuding a confident enthusiasm, verbally noting the strengths of the particular group members. There was a nurse on the trip and he told the group she was the one to go to if they felt any blisters forming. He made sure that everyone looked comfortable in their backpacks and showed a few people how they could adjust their straps for a better fit. His enthusiasm was contagious. Not only was the group able to hike farther than they thought they could, but also each member felt like they were a part of the goal being met. Without seeming bossy, he organized small groups at camp to gather firewood, set up tents, filter water, and prepare dinner. He kept an eye out to make sure everyone seemed happy and part of the group and gladly shared what he had learned from his camping experience with people when it was appropriate.
What you and Peter most likely have in common is your natural desire to help and organize, making most things simpler for other people. Bravo!
